Money is a big part of life, and talking about it with your partner is important.
Open and honest conversations about finances can reduce stress, build confidence and help you achieve your financial goals. The result is often a stronger and healthier relationship.
Whether you’re just starting the conversation or looking to improve the way you manage money as a team, here are some simple steps to help.
Start the conversation with the basics
Even if one person takes the lead on day-to-day money management, it’s important for both partners to be aware of key financial details. That’s one of the lessons in our VyStar Financial Fitness module on Building Financial Capability. A great way to start is by setting aside time to talk in a comfortable setting. Your conversation could start during a walk around the neighborhood and finish over a cup of coffee at the kitchen table. Keep it relaxed but make sure you're both focused and present.
This conversation should cover key financial details, including:
A list of all bank accounts, investments, debts and insurance policies
Any recurring bills and how they are paid (auto-pay, manual payments, etc.)
A plan for how you’ll check in on your finances regularly
Having this information readily available is especially important in case of an emergency, preventing unnecessary delays or legal complications.
Understand your financial picture
Once you’ve covered the basics, take time to assess your full financial picture. This may sound overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Plan to talk for about an hour, then reward yourselves by watching an episode of your favorite show or treating yourselves to dessert. You don’t have to come up with the answers all at once. Here are some key questions to work through together:
What is our combined income?
What are our “needs” (essential expenses like housing, utilities, groceries)?
What are our “wants” (streaming services, gym memberships, travel)?
How much are we setting aside for savings and investments?
What debts do we have (student loans, medical debt, credit cards)?
What is our plan for paying down any debt efficiently?
Where do we want to go from here and how will we get there?
As part of this conversation, talk about how you’ll securely share access to financial accounts. Consider using a password manager like 1Password or Dashlane or free options like Proton Pass or Bitwarden. These programs allow you to store and securely share login credentials so both partners can access key financial accounts if needed. If appropriate, also discuss granting each other legal access to accounts, such as adding a partner as a beneficiary or co-owner where applicable.
Make it fun by planning small rewards!
Managing money as a couple doesn’t have to feel like a chore. Find ways to make progress exciting by setting milestones and celebrating when you reach them. For example, if you save $1,000 for an emergency fund, treat yourselves to dinner at your favorite restaurant. If you pay off a credit card balance, plan a fun weekend activity. These celebrations reinforce good habits and keep financial planning motivating and rewarding. Best of all, they make them feel like a team effort.
Be each other’s support system
Impulse spending can happen to anyone, and having a partner to check in with can help keep your budget on track. Next time you’re tempted by a purchase — think a new power tool or an addition to your wardrobe — pause and talk it through. Ask yourselves:
Does this fit within our budget?
Is this purchase a want or a need?
Will this put us further away from our financial goals?
Leaning on each other for accountability can help prevent financial regret and ensure that spending decisions align with your shared goals. Try to keep this a judgment-free zone.
Keep it going
Talking about money with your partner doesn’t have to be stressful. By staying open, honest and proactive, you can create a financial plan that works for both of you. In the end, you’ll have a stronger relationship and a more secure financial future — together.