Today, many people find “the one” through a dating app or website. But looking for love online isn’t always a bed of roses. Romance scams are on the rise, as scammers target people who are seeking a partner and play on their emotions to cheat them out of money, gifts or important financial information.
According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), Americans lost a record $304 million in 2020 through romance and dating scams. That’s nearly a 50% increase from 2019. Learn more about the warning signs of a dating scam so you can prevent imposters from stealing your heart—and your money.
What Is a Romance Scam?
A romance scam typically begins with the promise of romance and companionship from a stranger you meet online. As the scammer gains your trust, they ultimately ask for money, gifts or other forms of financial help.
First, the scammer lures you with attractive photos and a fake profile on dating sites or apps, social media, email or other personal messaging systems. Then they shower you with attention and affection, giving the false impression that they are seeking a romantic relationship.
Once you feel comfortable with the scammer — and possibly even start falling in love with them — the scammer takes advantage of your feelings and makes up stories to persuade you to provide money, gifts, or financial information. For example, a scammer might claim they are having a medical emergency or say they need money to pay for a visa to visit you.
These scams are intricately planned and can be carried out over weeks, months or even years. Romance scammers invest a lot of effort into gaining their victims’ trust—and ultimately their money or financial account details.
Warning Signs of a Romance Scam
There are several telltale signs that your “fairytale romance” might not be what it seems. If you meet someone online, it should raise a red flag if your new flame tries any of these tactics:
Tells you they have strong feelings for you shortly after meeting you
Sends you vague, poorly written messages
Gives you information about themselves that is inconsistent with their online profile—for example, their profile says they majored in English in college, but their messages are full of grammatical errors
Tries to steer you away from the dating site or app to chat with you privately
Attempts to isolate you from your family and friends
Tells you convoluted stories that end with a request for you to send money, gifts or your financial details
Becomes desperate and emotionally manipulative if you do not give them what they want
Continues to request more money or information after you’ve already sent them what they’ve asked for.
How to Protect Yourself from a Romance Scam
If you fall into the trap of sending funds to someone who later turns out to be a scammer, your financial institution may not be able to refund or reimburse your losses. So, the best way to safeguard your money and financial information is to be cautious when you meet someone online.
Be careful about how much personal information you share online. Scammers can use your information and photo to create a fake identity or target you with a scam.
Beware of someone who promises to meet you in person, but always gives excuses as to why they can’t. Some scammers will invent a reason they can’t meet up, like saying they’re stationed overseas with the military or they have a job working on an oil rig.
Never share details about your financial accounts or credit cards, including account numbers, PIN numbers, online banking usernames and passwords.
Don’t send money to someone you don’t know personally or have never met in person. Be wary of anyone who asks you for money for transportation, communication fees, marriage processing fees, or medical or legal fees.
Be on the lookout for inconsistent information and poorly written messages.
If you meet someone online, do a reverse image search of their profile photo to see if the same picture appears on different sites with different names. This is a clear indication that their profile is fake.
If your trusted friends or family members are worried about someone you met online, listen to their concerns. They may see something you’ve missed in your excitement about the new relationship.
If you want to meet in person with someone you met online, make sure to let your friends or family know the day, time and location of your first meeting, and avoid traveling internationally for your first date.
If you suspect that someone is trying to lure you into a romance scam, immediately stop all contact with that person. This might be easier said than done. Since the scammer already has your contact information, they may try to track you down if you stop communicating with them, especially if they have invested a lot of time in setting up the scam. You may need to change your phone number and social media or dating profiles to prevent them from contacting you.
What to Do If You’re a Victim of a Romance Scam
Unfortunately, sometimes scammers can get the best of us. If you fall victim to a romance scam:
Immediately notify the dating site, mobile app or social media platform where you first met the scammer. Give them whatever details you can about the imposter’s profile to help prevent that person from victimizing others.
Contact your financial institutions and report the crime right away. While you may not always be reimbursed for your losses, your financial institutions can help secure your accounts from further damage.
Report the crime online on the Internet Crime Complaint Center website.
File a report with the FTC, which will help U.S. law enforcement officials with their investigations. You can reach the FTC through their website or by phone at 877-438-4338 or TTY at 866-653-4261.
If you have any questions about your accounts or think you may have been scammed, call our Contact Center any day of the week, from 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m., at 904-777-6000 or 800-445-6289. You can also visit our website to find more information about how to report fraud and how to protect yourself from fraud and scams.